Tag Archives: avocado

Joining the Breakfast Club

This week was my turn to cook at The Breakfast Club, a pop-up restaurant run by the oft-mentioned Rachel. It was also the hottest week of the summer so far, with temperatures topping 30 at the weekend.

It was late on Friday evening when I wondered whether I could stand the heat – and if not, whether I should get out of my kitchen. I’d dried the tomatoes for hours in a warm oven. Said oven was now heating up again, this time to welcome my Portuguese custard tarts. I was boiling kettle after kettle of water to turn into iced tea. And everything I touched was starting to melt.

Such was the intensity of the heat that at one point, an apparition came to me. There, at the far end of my kitchen, a mirage appeared, and out of the haze stepped Gregg Wallace, wearing nothing but a white towel and an ugly grin. I’ll never forget what he told me (mainly because he repeats it so often on MasterChef that it’s the next most natural thing to him after breathing). ‘Cooking doesn’t get any tougher than this,’ said he, portentously. ‘Yes it does you ridiculous little man,’ I replied sternly. ‘Now get out of my kitchen before I report you to Hello magazine.’

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Finally: a sarnie that ‘tastes as good as thin feels’?!

Just reading about London Fashion Week makes me feel hungry – any mention of food that manages to make it past the censors is still delivered to us squeezed of all joy. As reported in Grazia: Hovis has teamed up with supermodel Erin O’Connor to make the perfect LFW sandwich. Delightful – and, must I say, very generous of the Hovis PR department. This mysterious sandwich begged the question: perfect how? Perfect being the perfect New Clutch, a must-have foil to florals this season? Or perfect as in exquisitely balanced on a nutritional knife edge, providing just the right amount of energy to keep the models standing and fully conscious simultaneously?

Well, blow me down with a Ryvita and Diet Coke, what a strange combination Erin and the Hovis team came up with. Sunblush tomatoes. Smoked salmon. Avocadoes. Not overtly disgusting, nor stupidly complicated, more the gastronomic equivalent of getting dressed in the dark. It’s a sarnie predictable enough to get the Pavlovian juices of the average Hovis punter flowing and posh enough to sound as if it might fit into this dark glasses- and Louboutin-clad world. But all three together? Who would pick that combination as their perfect sandwich?

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